Do you know what you're having?

So I am at the point in my pregnancy where it is possible that I might actually know if I am having a girl or boy. But we have chosen not to find out. Our midwife doesn't like to prescribe ultrasounds unless she is concerned about something and it is necessary for her to check on the health of the baby or myself. If I really wanted to I could just ask her for one, and she would send me to the technician that she uses. But I don't really want one.

I've always been old fashioned in my heart, an old soul, and so when I thought about having a baby in the past I knew that at least once I would like to be surprised just like generations of women were before me. I wasn't necessarily adamant that I needed to be surprised for every child, but at least for one. Well, since it took me so long to get pregnant, I have to be honest, I am not confident that this will happen for me again. Lots of people tell me how the second time is easier, and that may be true, but as I've mentioned before, life has taught me that it is unpredictable. So rather than falling into the same routine of planning with the second, I will embrace the joy of this first experience fully. If this is the only child I am blessed to bear, I would like it to be in the old fashioned way.

Do I ever wonder what the baby is? Of course! Am I dying to know? Sometimes. My husband seems to struggle with this more than I do. But it also feels like we are on an adventure, a journey to get to know this life, and the suspense is thrilling!

There is a video blog that I follow, and this week's episode was about baby gender. I had intended to write about this topic before I had seen the video blog, but I think it is really interesting that we both had similar topics. In case any of you were interested here is the video blog episode:

Her question of the week reminded me of a conversation that I had once with my husband about baby gender. We haven't settled on how many kids we would like exactly (I think once we actually have one, we might be more prepared to answer this) but I did ask him "What if I have 3 or 4 girls in a row? Would you want to try for one more to have a boy?" His answer surprised me, "Yes..." at this point I got mad, how can you be so chauvinistic?!? Is having a male offspring really that important?!? Are men more important that women?!?, but then he continued "...but if it were reverse and we had all boys, I would want to keep trying for a girl. I just want to know what a you-me combo would look like if it was a boy and a girl." He is a great man and I love him so much! He values both genders equally, and shows them the same honor. I know that whatever Little turns out to be, this daddy will be the best daddy for him or her. And that settles my heart and my curiosity! :)