Mars and Venus...Mars Is Pretty Cool

So when we found out we were pregnant we wanted to wait until 8 weeks to tell our family. We each had different ways that we wanted to do so.

I wrapped up a picture frame and inside the frame I had a note written that said: Soon this frame will have the picture of your second grandchild! (my brother has a son already) We gave that frame to my parents to open. Simple, but effective. There were hugs and tears, lots of happy tears.

He wanted to make a Rube Goldberg. He always wants to make a Rube Goldberg. I am pretty convinced that when he is sitting silently staring off into space, he is planning Rube Goldbergs in his head. So of course, he made a Rube Goldberg to tell his family, complete with a motorized finger-release-thingy, and a flying pig. Here is the finished product:

My husband is basically a 6' 2" twelve-year-old... which can be pretty awesome! Especially when he does stuff like this. We are very different, but, hopefully, in ways that will help us raise beautiful souls.

Desperate Times, Call for Desperate Measures

So when you are trying to make a baby, of course you try to make yourself as fertile as possible. Here is a list of some of the things we tried (remember, I am trying to be as natural as possible, so I wanted to try more natural interventions before I moved on to more intensive approaches)

For Me

1. Basal Body Temping- a way to become more familiar with my body's cycles, and to pinpoint when I was ovulating.
2. Ashwagandha- an herb that helps reduce stress, but it also helps with circulation (I have poor blood circulation, and I read somewhere that this might contribute to my fertility).
3. Cutting back on foods I am sensitive to: I know that I am sensitive to gluten and dairy, so I tried my best to avoid these. But, it was very hard, and I often found myself eating dairy.
4. Prenatal vitamins- Started taking these the moment we started trying, over a year ago. I had to find some without gluten.
5. Zinc- Heard this helps you be more fertile, and it also helps boost your immune system when you feel a tingle in your throat, added bonus!
6. Fish oil, Vitamin D3- vitamins that promote fertility, and keep you healthy overall.
7. Positions- yes, we tried different ones, and by the end we were more systematic about it. My nurse practitioner actually encouraged me to be creative in this area. So funny to have a 50+ woman telling me to be more sexually adventurous, but I heeded your sage advice :)
8. Legs up in the air- several people told me about the old-wives-tale about putting your legs up in the air after sex to help you get pregnant by helping the swimmers find their way to my cervix. Didn't do this every time, but enough times that it became a joke between my husband and I.
9. Ovulation Predictor Kit- Pretty self-explanatory. Didn't start using this until a year after trying, per the recommendation of my nurse practitioner.

For Him

1. Cold showers- this is to stimulate the swimmers.
2. Radiation reducing phone case- my husband likes to keep his phone in his front pockets, near his manhood, which has been shown to reduce sperm count, so this phone case is meant to protect him from that (and cancer too).
3. Zinc- same thing as me above.
4. Fish Oils, Vitamin D3- same thing as above.
5. Exercise, increase protein and healthy fat intake- these increase testosterone, a must in keeping the swimmers healthy and active.

My husband was also willing to have his swimmers tested, (I had already submitted urine and blood samples to have my own fertility more thoroughly examined) but it wasn't necessary because... We tested positive that same month!!!

I am not saying that these things worked. I have no idea if they did or not. This was not a kosher experiment. Some of the things listed above were done simultaneously, and maybe that made a difference, maybe not. I really don't know. I am just sharing things that I did, in my journey to not give up.

If I have to pin it down to one thing, I would say that I was able to truly release and relax that month. I was starting the infertility process with my OB/GYN. I felt so relieved to be doing that. I was finally going to have some concrete answers, and with those answers I could then make a plan for how I was going to tackle those troubles. And that month, all I had to do was wait on the test results. No worries in the world! I was actually excited to finally be able to have the answers I so desperately wanted. And I just sighed with relief that month, and told God that I trust him/her and that I knew he/she was with me. And my husband and I were both in agreement that we would come to the best solution possible for us in our lives whenever and whatever came.

And my body opened up, relaxed, and was allowed to just be. My nurse practitioner told me that this happens frequently. I was so glad to hear it. Yay for those other women!!! And yay for us!!! And yay for my little one growing within, bigger and bigger, out of love...

Peeing on a Stick

(This is an older post I meant to post earlier this summer)

So, aren't pregnancy sticks EXPENSIVE!!! I mean, seriously?!?!? If you are TTC those things will break your bank! And even if they don't ('cuz you're disgustingly wealthy), it's the principle! I am gonna pee on this, wait 5 minutes then throw it away. And for that I have to pay $20??? Enter the 99 cents store. In this magical place you can buy a stick, not a fancy one but it does the same thing, for less than a dollar (before taxes). But wait a minute, if you are TTC then you are probably peeing on a stick 4-7 times a months x 12 months = $84 a year. That's $84 bucks you are spending to be pissed off every time you piss on a stick. That is too much money to spend just to be frustrated, in my opinion anyway.

My solution, buying pregnancy sticks in bulk on-line. I bought 100 stick for $20. That is definitely a more reasonable price. And since I had so many, and they were so cheap to get in the first place, I was more than happy to share the wealth and give them away to friends who thought they might be pregnant. "Why wait in suspense? Here take a handful. Knock yourself out".

Only downside (as I was warned by a close friend), you do get kinda addicted to peeing on a stick. Same thing with ovulation predictor sticks. Your day just doesn't feel right until you've peed on a stick. Who's with me? Anyone? Is this thing on??? (She recedes back into the crazy-shell she stuck her head out of.)

What if...

So a friend of mine was sharing her story with me. She had been trying for more than a year. At some point during this time the crazy crept in. It happens... But in her desperation to conceive her husband asked her a question that struck her right in the heart and helped her emerge from the crazy.

"What if I can't give you a baby? Do you still want to be with me???" he asked. What a bizarre question it must have seemed to my friend. She didn't marry her husband because of his genes for procreation. And yet, she must have been acting in such a way that led her husband to wonder if her need to carry life was more powerful than her love for him.

How blind we can become in the craziness, how unwittingly our pain can be transfered to others, hurting those we love most.

But as she shared this story with me, I had to check-in with myself. I had to ask myself the same question. "If having a child is not something that can happen between my husband and I, do I still want to live out the rest of my days with this man???" The answer to that question was the reality check I needed at just that moment. I was so absorbed in my own desire that I forgot that I have chosen to travel the rest of my days on this earth with someone else and that must remain a priority if we are to succeed in this married life.

So the answer to the question was YES!!!! I still want to be with him no matter what!

I mean, who wouldn't?!?!? He is willing to entertain his wife by taking her to childish restaurants, and take goofy pictures just to make her happy. He has made my life better in so many ways, and all this sans children. I can't even imagine raising children without him. So it is him all the way. Love him. Love him. Love him!